


Wanted: Babysitter

by bunnyoonoh



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Babysitters, Baby Zhong Chen Le, Fluff and Angst, Kid Fic, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Single Parent Lee Jeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:41:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27667628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnyoonoh/pseuds/bunnyoonoh
Summary: Jeno has been looking for a babysitter for months. Unlike his other friends, he's raising his son for the past two years alone. No one could fill in the spot his previous babysitter had left. His friends have been pestering him for months to look for a replacement that it starts to annoy Jeno. So when Yukhei suggests his sister’s old babysitter, he immediately says yes.What could go wrong?
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno
Comments: 24
Kudos: 310
Collections: '00 FIC FEST ROUND TWO





	Wanted: Babysitter

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt #00378
> 
> A big thank you to my beta who has been patient with me throughout the whole process of this fic, my two wonderful best friends who stayed up until 4 in morning in our therapeutic discord calls to accompany me while brainstorming, and lastly to the prompter who gave this lovely idea. I hope I've given justice to your amazing prompt.

The heavy wind brushes through Jeno’s hair tousling it in different directions as he navigates his way through the busy streets of Seoul, a carrier strapped against his chest. He feels a shiver run down his spine with how cold it is right now. Jeno, as always, underestimated how cold it would be in Seoul as he often said that thick skin ran through their family’s genes so he never needed too many layers of clothing for the cold autumn season approaching. He sighs, bringing a free hand to fix his tousled hair while dodging the rushing workers around him. His other hand resting on top of his baby’s head that is inside the carrier, holding onto him gently as he walks twice as fast as before to get to his destination sooner. 

Jeno is running late _again_. He is meeting with a few of his friends for their monthly scheduled get-together. He knows he is going to get a beating from Donghyuck but it isn’t his fault they are running late! He had accidentally forgotten to turn an alarm so he was awoken by the cries on his monitor. Donghyuck was screaming at him on the phone to hurry up or they would miss their appointment. He had absolutely no idea what they were going to do today so he just hurriedly prepared what they needed and rushed onto his car to the location the younger had sent him. 

He looks around for a familiar signage, the streets too crowded making it harder for Jeno to find the place. After a few minutes, he spots it and quickly runs to the door. As soon as Jeno opens the door, he is greeted with the warmth that radiates throughout the area, a soft scent of baby powder lingered around along with the soft chuckling of toddlers around him. A few tables are placed on the side near the windows as a colorful fence separates a whole new part of the area where toddlers run freely. A worker approaches him and asks him if he has an appointment. Jeno answers, _‘yes, Jang’_ and the waitress nods as she leads him inside and further into the shop. 

A blonde bob is the first thing he notices as soon as they make a turn into a more secluded area. The figure stands proudly, back facing Jeno as she holds a baby on her hip. She talks animatedly to the woman sitting near her. When she bounces to her left, Jeno sees a table in front of them and another figure sitting on the opposite end of the table. The man on the farther end of the table stands up and turns his attention to the baby. He puffs out his cheeks, making faces at the baby in front of him. The baby being held responds with an excited squeal making everyone in the room smile in return. The man standing averts his gaze at Jeno’s direction then back at the baby but immediately returns it to Jeno. His smiling face turned into a scowl and started stalking towards him.

“Lee Jeno!” he exclaims, “Why are you late again?”

Everyone at the table turns around to look at him, unamused glances sent towards him as he puffs out a chuckle, “Hello to you too, Hyuckie?”

Donghyuck just raises a brow at him and mumbles _‘when will you ever change’_ then extends his arms out, “give me my favorite godson.”

“He’s your only godson, Hyuck.”

“Exactly, now gimme.”

Jeno just chuckles in response and softly takes his baby out of the carrier. The baby spreads his arms out to his uncle as soon as he sees him causing Donghyuck to coo at him, “Aw, my adorable little Chenle. Come here!”

Chenle’s tiny little hands hold tightly onto Donghyuck’s shoulder as the latter holds him carefully. Donghyuck walks back to the table with Chenle in his arms. He taps his cheeks while he looks at him straight in the eye. It takes a few moments before Chenle gets the message and proceeds to press a kiss onto his uncle’s cheek causing the older to yell in happiness.

Jeno follows them to the table as he unbuckles the carrier’s straps around him. He hangs the carrier behind an unoccupied seat at the head of the table and places down his satchel on the floor. He turns around to face his two other friends. Elkie stands up from her seat to greet Jeno with a warm embrace. They exchange brief salutations before Jeno turns to the woman looking at him with a blank stare.

“Yeeun, stop looking at me like that,” Jeno smiles at her as he leans in to press a kiss onto the baby’s cheek, “Hello, Eubin. You look prettier since the last time I saw you.”

The little girl flushes red as she hides her face in the crook of her mother’s neck. Yeeun just rolls her eyes at her daughter’s reaction as Jeno laughs softly. “Don’t flirt with my child, she hasn’t even turned one yet.”

“I’m just complimenting her because she deserves to be reminded that she is pretty,” Jeno replies giving Eubin his signature eye smile. Yeeun just raises her brow and excuses herself to the restroom as she hands her baby to her wife. He turns his head to look for his son only to see Donghyuck holding Chenle’s hand, pointing at the books displayed on the shelf. At the corner of Jeno’s eye, he spots a flash of hot pink hair walking towards Donghyuck as a small figure bolts towards them only to capture Chenle in a hug.

“Lele!” the younger boy shouts as he spins them both around. Donghyuck tells Jisung to be careful but the little boy doesn’t listen as he runs towards the playground with Chenle in hand, Jisung’s father quickly chasing after them. He smiles at them then pulls out a chair to sit on. The hot pink head man now walks towards their direction. He takes a seat near Jeno and gives him a warm smile.

“Hey Jeno! Took you awhile again, huh?” He lets out a soft chuckle as Jeno groans, “Ugh, don’t remind me again, hyung. It’s enough coming from Yeeun and Donghyuck already.”

Elkie beams a smile at Jeno as she bounces her daughter in her lap, “well, you are always late to our gatherings. You know how punctual Yeeun is. She’s even considering making a _‘Late fee’_ jar for us all. I know you half of the money in that would be coming from _your_ pocket, Jeno.”

Yeeun was the one who suggested it since she lived the farthest among them. He was really unsure at first since he was really busy managing the bakery on a daily basis but at least they would always mark their meetings on Sundays, the only day where the shop would close. And Jeno would prefer his Sundays to be spent baking in his kitchen with the help of his trusty sous chef, Chenle. When Jeno first heard about the proposal he declined saying that it was too much of a hassle for Yeeun and Elkie to drive for 3 hours straight just to meet him and Donghyuck. But she insisted saying that she _needed_ to see her godsons and absolutely does not trust Jeno when it comes to raising a child. Elkie calls it their ‘Monthly Chenle Checkup’.

“Stop,”Jeno whines, “I always feel bad whenever me and Lele are late considering that you two just come here all the way from Daegu just to see all of us here in Seoul.”

“Well you should be,” Yeeun injects as she takes a seat beside Elkie and grabs Eunbin, “I don’t spend so much money on gas only for you to waste my time, Lee Jeno. I see you guys once a month and you still have the nerve to be late.”

The younger pouts, “I really don’t mean to be late all the time, Yeeun. It’s just been... difficult ever since Sooyoung got married and she had to quit as Chenle’s babysitter.”

When he first came back to Seoul from Busan, his mother referred him to a close friend of his sister’s to hire as a babysitter. Sooyoung is an expert when it comes to children as she has to take care of all 6 of her siblings alone when their parents leave them. So the first two years of their life went smoothly as Sooyoung would be at Jeno’s apartment before he went out to go to work and leave when Jeno came home. She accompanies Chenle as well to the daycare whenever Jeno couldn’t as well so having her in their life made everything easier. 

But after two wonderful years, Sooyoung had to bid goodbye as Chenle’s babysitter as she had gotten engaged which ultimately resulted in her days being booked with appointments with her wedding planner. Sooyoung visited during the weekends now as she taught Jeno some of the basic stuff about parenting as he only knew a handful of things (yes it’s embarrassing considering he’s been a parent for two years already). She has no idea how grateful Jeno is for her and how she helped him and Chenle over the years, he even baked her cake for her wedding as a thank you gift.

“Jeno, I understand it’s difficult raising a baby alone but didn’t I tell you to find a replacement for her before she left?” Yeeun says empathetically but voice sturdy.

“Yeah, you did.”

“And?” she asks as Elkie hands her a feeding bottle.

Jeno ruffles his hair and sits straight, he could feel everyone’s eyes on him, “I can’t find anyone who can fit Sooyoung’s shoes.”

“Jeno—”

“I’m really trying, Yeeun. But you know Chenle isn’t so quick to adapt with strangers,” he says looking at Yeeun.

Yeeun sighs, “Yeah but if you find one now and hire them then the longer they stay with you guys, the sooner Chenle can adjust.”

“Yeeun it isn’t that easy.”

“It is Jeno—”

“Appa!” a small voice screams. They all turn their heads to see Chenle running towards their table. He quickly tugs his father’s hand, “Appa! Appa! Let’s go play, please?”

Jeno gives him a small smile, how can he decline such an adorable angel? “Okay, baby. But first, greet your Auntie Yeeun and Auntie Elkie.” 

Chenle looks at the two women and gives them a toothy grin, “Mommy Yeeun! Mommy Elkie!”

“Lele, how many times did I tell you to stop calling them mommy? They aren’t your mommy,” Jeno explains to Chenle as the 2 year-old looks at Jeno with sad eyes.

“Don’t listen to him, Lele. He’s just being a kill-joy. You can call me and Auntie Elkie, anything you like,” Yeeun says to Chenle as she ruffles his hair. The boy’s eyes light up as he looks at Jeno for approval. Jeno sighs and just nods, “God you spoil my child too much, Yeeun.”

“He deserves to be spoiled and have every ounce of attention he can get.”

Jeno could feel the underlying meaning in her words so he excuses himself from the table and grabs Chenle’s hand as they start their walk to the playground. He turns his back to look at his friends only to see Yeeun narrowing her eyes at him and mouthing something at him.

_This conversation isn’t over, Lee_

  
  


* * *

  
  


It is in the early morning when Jeno wakes up to a loud wailing sound from the monitor on his bedside nightstand. He groans as he sits up from his bed, head dizzy from the sudden intrusion. Jeno blinks a couple of times to try and get rid of the sleep but it slowly consumes him again. He feels his eyes slowly closing again, his head heavily tilting forward. Jeno is about to lay his back onto the mattress when another scream echoes out the device causing him to sit back right up.

The cries continue on and on from the monitor as Jeno hurriedly puts on his bedroom slippers and runs out the room to the one next to his. The loud sobs continue from the monitor until Jeno hears it echo outside the bedroom door. He opens it hastily but with caution, trying his best not to scare youngling inside. The endless cries pierce through his ears, he can feel a headache start to form but he pushes that aside as he places the monitor down by the changing table to quickly aid the crying baby.

Jeno could see his 2-year-old baby standing and thrashing in his crib. The baby’s cheeks and clothes stained and wet from all the tears that fell down from his eyes. His tiny hands are tightly clenching the crib door as if he was begging to be released from his bed. Jeno's head is filled with worry as he pushes the crib fence down and swoops down to carry him. 

“Chenle,” he whispers sweetly, “baby, appa is here.”

He kisses Chenle’s temple as he bounces the baby in his arms, trying to calm him down from his tantrum. “Are you hungry baby?” he asks but Chenle shakes his head. Jeno hums, “Did Lele have a nightmare again?” he slowly walks out of the room, grabbing the monitor on the way to the door. Chenle automatically relaxes in his father’s arms, his head resting on Jeno’s shoulder while his hands tightly hold onto his father’s shirt.

Jeno sets the monitor down onto his nightstand and places them on the bed carefully. Chenle lays on top of Jeno’s chest as he sniffles softly. Jeno wipes away the stray tears that escape his eyes as he tries his best to lull him to sleep. 

“I’m sorry appa wasn’t there on time to save you from the scary monster. What can appa do to make it up to Lele?” he asks as he pats the baby’s back gently, “Hmmm, what about a song? Would Lele like to hear appa sing you a song?”

Chenle looks at him with tired eyes as he is saying _‘yes’_ silently. Jeno can’t help but smile at how adorable his baby looks. He hums, “Okay, baby. Let me think of a song to start with.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


“You look like shit,” Donghyuck comments as soon as he sees Jeno enter the back door of the bakery. 

Jeno gives him the side-eye, “Good morning to you as well, Donghyuck.” He passes Donghyuck and strides towards the office door. He quickly starts to prepare for the day when he enters the main office. Jeno places his bag on the desk in the middle of the room and goes to the supply closet to grab his apron to tie around his waist much like Donghyuck and every other employee in the establishment. He didn’t notice that the other had followed him inside the office as well, seeing the younger was sitting comfortably on the top of the desk, next to his bag, his flour covered hands held a coffee mug in hand inscribed with ‘ _Best Dad Award’_ on it.

“Where is Yukhei?”

“Out to get us breakfast cause he knows _someone_ hasn’t eaten yet,” Donghyuck says as he rolls his eyes. Jeno looks at him for a moment and gives a one lopsided smile, mumbling a soft _‘thank you’_ as well.

“Dropped off Chenle at the daycare?” Donghyuck asks as he watches Jeno fix the clothes in the closet. Jeno hums in response as he closes the supply closet and walks towards the table Donghyuck was sitting on top of, “No, I actually asked Yeeun to pick him since I woke up late.”

Donghyuck sips his coffee as Jeno starts to rummage through his bag. “Did he keep you up again last night?” he asks nonchalantly.

Jeno shrugs his shoulders, “Not really. He had a nightmare so naturally he was scared. He fell asleep after I sang to him again but he kept on waking up every hour so I had to calm him down,” he grabs his phone and pockets it in his apron sleeve then walks out the office. Donghyuck follows him out to the pantry as he sees Jeno pulling out a tray of freshly baked bread he had just made early in the morning, “Wait, so how much sleep did you get?”

“An hour or two I think? Lele only fell asleep around four and I had to watch him for the next hour to see if he really fell asleep.” Jeno walks out the pantry to go file the bread into the containers for the customer to buy, “Hyuckie the bread smells amazing, did you use the new recipe I gave you?”

“Yeah, I tried it out earlier with Yukhei. Didn’t I tell you to go look for a new babysitter?” 

Jeno nods, “Yes, you did. But you know it's hard to gather a list of people who are willing to become Lele’s new sitter. We should try infusing some chocolate into the sourdough next time, I think kids would love them.”

“That sounds like a good idea. Wait, I gave you a list of sitters a few weeks after Sooyoung left right? What happened to that?” Jeno stops moving for a minute before continues to finish stocking the pastries onto the containers. “Ah, yeah. Well- um… I kinda lost the list-”

“Jeno!”

“Listen!” Jeno stands straight from his crouching position and looks at Donghyuck, “even if I kept that list, I don’t have any time to meet them. We’re so busy at the bakery and all my time after work is dedicated to Chenle and crafting new recipes, you know how hard it is since you’re a dad yourself.”

The younger baker pouts at the raven-haired boy, “I know, Jeno but I have Mark to help me raise Jisung. And I’m not telling you to get a girlfriend or boyfriend, I’m just saying you need someone to help you out.” 

Jeno carefully places the last piece of bread from the tray and paces back inside the pantry and out with a new batch to pack onto the clear containers, his back turned to the younger while he faces the containers near the massive window, “I understand, Hyuck. Thank you for your concern but I really don’t need a sitter. I’m fully capable of taking care of Chenle on my own.” 

Donghyuck raises his brow at him, “Really, huh? When was the last time you went to the grocery?”

“Two weeks ago?” Jeno answers, unsure. He hears the other scoff while Jeno rolls his eyes in return, “Really? Two weeks ago?”

“We still have supplies okay! I’m trying to save up.”

Donghyuck hums as he puffs a strand of hair off his face, “Do you know the difference of the Uppababy Vista Version one from Uppababy Vista Version two?”

Jeno turns around to look at his friend in surprise, “Uppababy- what?” 

“Ha! See? You don’t even know the difference between the two!”

“I don’t even know what an opperbaby is!”

“It's Uppababy and it's a stroller. The version 2 is designed for taller kids and has a bigger canopy for sun canopy but I don’t think Chenle needs that since I know he won’t grow that tall.”

Jeno just blinks at his friend, “...okay?”

“Jen I don’t think you can raise Chenle on your own right now—”

“Ouch—”

“And you need someone experienced to help you.”

Jeno huffs out a loud sigh and places the tray on top of the container so he can fully turn around to look at his best friend, “Donghyuck, I really appreciate your concern but I don’t think I need to learn about strollers or worry about which shampoo I should be buying since Chenle won’t need those soon in the next few years. A babysitter is not what Chenle needs.”

Jeno can’t really believe how he’s getting questioned and doubted about his parenting skills by his best friend. There might have been mishaps that acquired along the way like him forgetting to change Chenle’s nappies one time or feeding him regular powdered milk instead of the formulated one or when he forgot to pick him up at the daycare- but those were mistakes he’s trying to fix now. Not all parents are perfect. As much as he wants to spend more time with his son, Jeno has to work to pay the bills and make a living for his family. He wants to spoil his son with everything he wants. A babysitter is not what they need right now, Jeno can take care of Chenle of his own. They don’t need one.

“Jeno but he _does_ need one. Do you know until what age he would need to stop using strollers? Or when you need to start feeding him solids? Think about the trips to the pediatrician, who would bring him there if you’re busy?”

Jeno shakes his head and chuckles unamused, “Hyuckie, you are worrying for nothing. I can handle it. I mean I had Sooyoung’s guidance for the last four months, I think I can survive the next fifty years without a sitter for Lele.”

Donghyuck groans, the frustration of not convincing his hard headed friend evident, “It’s been two months since she left, Jeno. How do you think you’ve been doing so far?” 

The taller doesn’t speak up, recalling the last two months that had accrued. Thinking about the moments he messed up and had to call either Donghyuck or Yeeun to help him calm down Chenle. He hears the other sigh, “See? You can’t even answer for yourself.”

“I’m trying my best! I tell, you’re getting worked up for nothing.”

“Okay, tell me what time does Chenle finish at the daycare.”

Jeno just raises his eyebrow at him then turns around to finish stocking in the bread, “He finishes at three in the afternoon, Donghyuck. Are you finished with your Q&A now? We should really finish restocking the pastries. The shop opens in thirty minutes.”

“Jen, he finishes at one-thirty.”

The other doesn’t respond.

Donghyuck looks at him blankly, “Jeno really, you should look for a sitter— okay, wait no. Now that I think about it,” he pauses for a bit as he was thinking about the right word to use then snaps his fingers as he had just solved a problem, “you need a nanny. You need someone to look after both Chenle _and_ you.” 

Jeno rushes back inside the pantry, past Donghyuck, and grabs a new set of bread to stack into the containers near the counter, “Donghyuck that’s just a ridiculous idea. I can take care of myself and my son.”

“Jeno, please. No offense—”

“I’m already offended—”

“But have you seen yourself lately?” Donghyuck places his mug onto the counter and hops off, “You are overworking yourself again. You always stay up late here at the shop to just try and make new recipes then you have to go pick up Chenle at my place after even though we work the same shift! How many times do I have to tell you that it’s okay to ask help from other people?”

Jeno stills and heaves out a heavy breath. He places the tray on top of the plastic container and looks up at Donghyuck, “I know, I know... It’s just hard I guess? To look for a replacement. You know how Chenle doesn’t open up to people that easily.” 

The younger man frowns but nods, “Yeah, I know. But you both need this. The sooner you find a new sitter, the easier Chenle can adjust to a new environment.” 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Donghyuck shakes his head as he places his hand onto Jeno’s shoulder and smugly says, “My friend, when am I ever wrong?” He laughs boisterously as he grabs his mug, walking back into the back of the shop. “I’ll be baking more bread at the back, I think Yukhei is coming back any minute now so stay awake for a few more minutes.”

Jeno mumbles something under his breath but the younger pays him no mind. They hear faint footsteps getting closer until a tall figure walks out the door.

“Hey! What did I miss?” Yukhei asks with a smile on his face.

“Nothing really, Xuxi. Did you get the food I asked you to buy?”

It’s like a light bulb lit up in Yukhei ‘s head that he raised up both of his hands that was holding brown paper bags, “Of course I did, Hyuckie! We should eat them before they get cold.”

They start walking back to the pantry to eat their breakfast but before Jeno could enter the door, Donghyuck stops him, “Jeno, don’t forget okay?”

“Donghyuck, please. You have absolutely nothing to worry about.”

“Okay… just promise me you’ll look over the list and find someone okay?”

Jeno smiles at him as he tilts his head to the left, “I promise, Hyuckie. I’ll go through it this weekend.”

But Jeno doesn’t. As soon he gets off of work that day, he says to himself that he’ll go through the list after he picks up Chenle at the daycare. They get home and Jeno says he’ll go read over some recipes then do the list. The night ends and Jeno tucks Chenle into his crib as it slips from his mind and as the weekend passes, Jeno has little to no progress whatsoever with finding a replacement.

It wasn't much of a priority on finding a new babysitter for Chenle as it was too long of a process and Jeno (according to his schedule) had no time at all to go and interview numerous people. Jeno was doing a good job at avoiding every question Donghyuck had managed to throw at him about the sitter again. It wasn’t the first time he was being questioned after their little talk. He managed to dodge everything for the past two weeks.

One of the main reasons why he was avoiding Donghyuck and his little Q&A was because he didn’t want Yeeun to find out about him still not making any move whatsoever to find a new sitter for his son. Truth be told, Jeno was afraid of Yeeun. He remembers the first year of college where he accidentally forgot to text one of her friends back after he snagged her number at a party eight months into college and Yeeun gave him the sermon of his lifetime the next time they saw each other because he apparently ‘made her cry so hard that she practically couldn’t see the next day’. In Jeno’s defense, he was so drunk that night that he forgot he placed the piece of paper in his jean pocket and it got wet when he did the laundry the day after. He doesn’t want to get socked on the face again.

It is a Saturday that day, the last working day for Jeno at the bakery and he thought he could survive another day by avoiding Donghyuck and his babysitter questions, but he had underestimated Lee Donghyuck and his prying skills. Around Jeno’s shift at the cashier is where Donghyuck manages to corner him. It was great timing how Donghyuck approached him an hour past lunch, knowing that there were less customers coming in the bakery. He walks up to the raven haired boy and practically slams his hand on the counter, startling Jeno who is sitting on the stool behind the counter, a baking magazine in hand. 

“So Jeno,” Donghyuck starts with a tilt of his head, “how’s the babysitting hunting going, huh?”

Jeno brings his eyes back and flips through the page he was at as he repositions himself on the stool. He hums, trying to avoid the younger’s gaze, “it’s fine.”

Donghyuck raises his brow, “really?”

“Uh- I got almost halfway through the list… yeah halfway,” Jeno mumbles the last part as he flips to the next page. He can feel Donghyuck’s heated gaze on him, eyes drilling holes right through his thick skull. Jeno pretends to read the oven ads printed on the page in front of him as he hears Donghyuck grunt. He lifts his head to look at his friend that is running through his hair.

“Be honest with me, Jeno,” he starts, “have you even gone through the list at all?” He asks and Jeno can hear the frustration in his tone.

In total honesty, Jeno did go through the list last week. He searched up everyone Donghyuck had managed to name onto that piece of paper. He felt a bit guilty that his best friend went through all that trouble to narrow down a number of people who were willing to be Chenle’s babysitter so why not read over it? No one caught his eye, most of the people there were either college students looking for a part time job or people who deemed… suspicious in Jeno’s jugement. He supposes that the college students that were on Donghyuck’s list had potential but he wanted someone that was willing to give a majority of their time to Chenle as he needed utmost attention.

So yes, Jeno did go through the list.

He sighs as he closes the magazine and looks up at Donghyuck. He opens his mouth to try and explain but the sun-kissed boy shakes his head and reaches out his hand towards him. Jeno gives him a confused look, not knowing what the boy was asking for.

“Your phone,” he answers.

“What?”

“Give me your phone and we’ll schedule some interviews right now.”

“No?”

Donghyuck flares his nostrils and looks at him with disbelief, “Lee Jeno I swear to the heaven’s above if you don’t give me your phone right now, I will call Yeeun with mine.”

Jeno feels his heart stop, “you wouldn’t…”

Donghyuck smirks at him and yells ‘Hey Siri!’. He hears a familiar sound of Donghyuck’s phone reacting to his command. The younger opens his mouth and Jeno knows what exactly he was going to say so he says the first thing that comes into his mind.

“Call Honey!” and Donghyuck’s phone processes it then proceeds to call Mark. Donghyuck screams at Jeno, rushing to his phone that is on the counter near the pantry door. Jeno knows Mark is busy at the shop teaching guitar lessons downtown and he also knows how Mark’s boss, Taeyong, gets really upset when Donghyuck calls his best employee while he’s on the clock. Jeno uses this chance to escape the younger, he stands up and rushes towards the back door. Just as Jeno is near the door, Yukhei walks in with three plastic containers in his hands.

He mumbles a greeting to Yukhei with a small smile and goes to the back.

“Xuxi, stop him!” Donghyuck yells as he tries to fix his glitching phone that is still ringing his boyfriend’s cell. Yukhei, being confused and startled with Donghyuck’s request, grabs Jeno by the wrist with his free hand to try and stop him from leaving.

Jeno gets pulled back by force causing him to lose balance and fall flat on his butt. He groans in pain as Yukhei starts to apologize.

“Don’t apologize, Xuxi. He deserves it,” Donghyuck seethes, “Putting my all hard work into vain. Unbelievable!” 

“What’s going on?”

“Jeno here still hasn’t found a replacement for Sooyoung and is now suffering the consequences of his actions!” the tan boy exclaims as he stares at Jeno harshly.

Yukhei places the bags onto the counter and extends his hand to Jeno to grab on so he can stand up. “Jeno you shouldn’t be brushing off Donghyuck’s efforts like that. He and Yeeun have been trying their best to find potential hires for you to lessen the burden and let it be easier for you to narrow down a search.”

“Thank you, Yukhei—”

Yukhei brings his hand up to stop Donghyuck, “I’m not done yet.”

“But I don’t think you should be pressuring Jeno about these things, Hyuck. You know how difficult it is for him to find one knowing how picky Lele is with his sitters. You both have to understand where you’re coming from since you’ve known each other for so long.”

The two are silent. Jeno knows Yukhei is right. He had put Donghyuck’s work down the drain and didn’t even consider to say thank you to him when he gave out his list. He scratches his nape as he looks up at his best friend.

“I’m sorry, Hyuck. You know how much I appreciate you and Yeeun’s effort for me and Lele, right? I didn’t mean to seem unappreciative of everything you’ve done for us.”

Donghyuck crosses his arms and shifts his weight between his two legs, “I’m sorry too, I guess.”

“Donghyuck,” Yukhei warns.

“Ugh, I’m sorry for not thinking about how you felt about this Jeno. I didn’t mean to push you into finding a replacement. I just didn’t want to see you having a hard time balancing work and taking care of Chenle,” Donghyuck blurts out fastly. 

Despite Donghyuck’s tone, Jeno knows he’s always bark, no bite. He’s used to Donghyuck being like this as he knows how difficult it is to express certain emotions out of the blue. His love language being more on the aggressive spectrum that sometimes causes misunderstandings.

Jeno gives him a smile, “Thanks for always having my back, guys.”

“No prob, Jeno! Now, tell me what caused this fiasco,” Yukhei says as he places a hand on his hip, “I’m intrigued.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


“Okay so Jeno hasn’t found a new sitter cause of his busy schedule?”

“Yes,” Donghyuck answers, mouth full of rice, “He’s been excusing himself for the past month saying that he can’t find anyone to interview because of his schedule! I know he’s just making up excuses.”

“I am not!” The younger protests, “I actually have a tight schedule with the amount of workshop invites I get weekly, you know this, guys.”

Yukhei nods at them, “Yeah. Jeno does have a jam packed schedule. Makes sense.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes as he continues his onslaught of his egg fried rice while Jeno closes the lid of his container, “well are you free this weekend? We can go through the list and call some people in to interview.”

Jeno grabs his phone from the breast pocket of his apron and checks his calendar. He scans over the weekend then passes his phone to Donghyuck, “I have a seminar to attend at home. Morning till late afternoon. I don’t think I can.”

“Do you want me to hand you Victoria’s old sitter?” Yukhei asks as he bites a big chunk of his spring roll.

“You mean the one that you always talk about before that was so great at his job?” 

“Yeah! That one!” Yukhei beams, “He resigned about four months ago to take a vacation but I heard from Victoria that he’s back in town now. Do you want to meet him to see if he can be the new replacement?”

“Like I said Xuxi, I’m busy for the weekend. I can’t really—”

“Then let Donghyuck be the one to interview him for you! I know you trust his judgment.”

Jeno thinks for a moment. He does trust Donghyuck and he absolutely (as much it's hard for him to admit) needs a babysitter. His schedule hasn’t loosen up since a month ago. With no other choice, Jeno looks up at Yukhei and nods.

“Okay. I trust you guys.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Jeno doesn’t know if it was a good idea to let Donghyuck interview his new babysitter without him last week but then again Yukhei did recommend this boy to him and Jeno trusts Yukhei’s sister with her standards when it came to her employees.

Today is his new babysitter’s first day on the job. He didn’t ask for any specification about the new sitter from Donghyuck as the younger refused to give out any details about the sitter wanting it to be a ‘surprise’. Jeno didn’t pry nor protest at that as knew he would be letting go of the sitter sooner or later. It isn't that Jeno doesn't believe in their capability, it is more so that it’ll be difficult for them to adjust with how indifferent Chenle is with strangers. Before Sooyoung, a number of people had quit too fast just because Chenle did not welcome them.

All he could remember Donghyuck saying to him about the sitter after the interview was that he was going to like the new hire. 

Jeno doubts. 

The younger is accompanying the babysitter to Jeno’s apartment. They would be arriving in less than an hour so Jeno is preparing snacks for the three of them since it is just the break of dawn. He's setting down the plates when he hears the familiar buzz of his doorbell. For a minute he wonders as why didn’t Donghyuck just grab the spare key placed under the door frame near the knob as he usually does whenever he and Mark come over to visit. He places the last plate of pastries onto the mat and heads towards the door.

As soon as he opens the door he expects Donghyuck to be right there with the babysitter. But he isn't greeted with a tan boy with brown locks, instead he’s faced with a boy a bit shorter than him with rose-pink hair, figure drowned in an oversized hoodie, silver frames sitting delicately on his pretty _pretty_ nose. Jeno, with just one glance, can already tell who stood in front of him. 

_Huang Renjun._ Or better known to Jeno, the love of his life… 

  
  
  
  


...or so he used to call him that.

Renjun was Jeno’s very first friend (Donghyuck following) when he started high school here in Seoul. He had just moved out from his house in Busan to stay with his sister who was attending a university that happened to be the same one Jeno entered years later. Jeno knew from the very moment they met, he was eternally whipped for the older. He couldn’t escape him. Renjun had a sharp tongue, witty mind, and passionate soul. He thought at first it was admiration, too confused with his sexuality and the very thought of whether liking the same gender was okay. But he clearly remembers telling his mother about his new found revelation and all she responded was that,

“Love has no gender so love whoever you want, Jeno-ya.”

And so Jeno did. He loved from afar, concealing his feelings for Renjun as he was too afraid to express them. It was raw, pure, too innocent that made Jeno’s head spin with so many thoughts, the only thing he was sure of was that he truly loved Renjun with every ounce he had. Came their last year in high school, Jeno had decided to finally tell Renjun how he truly felt. He didn’t want to end his last year of high school with regrets. Donghyuck was the only one who knew about this so he encouraged his friend to do it.. So on the night of their prom, Jeno had taken Renjun out to a local convenience store the older had suggested to go midway into the event. They both sat outside the small store in their padded coats eating instant ramyeon. Jeno huffed out a big breath and slowly looked up to Renjun.

After that night at the convenience store, nothing was the same. They weren’t the usual chummy Jeno and Renjun. The former always opting to back out from their hangouts whenever Renjun would be there. Or whenever they did have the chance to hang-out, the atmosphere would be awkward and suffocating. Jeno always left first to release the tension. To say the least, nothing went smoothly. In college they started to slowly drift away, Renjun tried his best to keep their friendship strong but it was difficult since they had different schedules at that time. What sealed the deal was when Jeno had to drop-out in the middle of their third year and move back to Busan. The last time Jeno saw Renjun was the week before his departure. After that they didn’t even attempt to contact each other. No texts. No calls. Nothing whatsoever. 

Jeno is absolutely clueless what to do right now. Renjun stands right in front of him, looking absolutely breathtaking as Jeno last remembered. It is too much for Jeno’s brain to process that it just made his thoughts stop. His hands are tingling, heart beating so fast, sweat starting to bead down his back. Was he like this back in high school? Jeno decided that he should just let his body move on its own. And his body responded by slamming the door in front of Renjun.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


_“You idiot!”_ Donghyuck screamed from his phone, _“What were you thinking?”_

After effectively embarrassing himself in front of Renjun, Jeno’s cell had started to ring like crazy. In total honesty, Jeno _wasn’t_ thinking at all. His body had just automatically moved, he didn’t know he was going to close the door. The slam effectively rang through the whole unit causing Chenle to startle awake and cry so loud. Jeno was panicking as he had to answer the call whilst trying to calm down his baby. He wanted to start crying as well. As soon as his best friend got a hold of him, Donghyuck started screaming at him like crazy. He instructs Jeno to open the door and let Renjun in and then hand Chenle over to him while he gets the scolding of his life. Jeno was a bit hesitant at first seeing as it was Chenle’s first time meeting Renjun and it might even worsen the crying but after getting shout at by Donghyuck on the phone, Jeno passes his son into Renjun’s arms. The babysitter is currently sitting on Jeno's sofa with Chenle in the small playpen. The crying surprisingly goes down as he can hear his baby’s loud giggling from the kitchen where he is currently hiding at while listening to Donghyuck’s sermon. He is lucky it isn't Yeeun.

  
  


“I’m sorry!”

_“Why are you saying sorry to me!? Tell that to Renjun! Who’s that stupid to close the door in front of their babysitter? Let alone their babysitter who they’ve been in love with since high school.”_

“Donghyuck, please don’t remind me,” Jeno groans as he can practically feel Donghyuck’s eyes roll through the call.

_“It’s his first time seeing you in years, Jeno. You can imagine how nervous he must be feeling right now. And you just slammed the door at him without even uttering a single word to him.”_

Jeno frowns. He can't think of an answer back because he knows Donghyuck has a point. He hadn’t thought of how Renjun would feel about this since they haven’t seen each other in so long. He starts to wonder how in the world did Yukhei and Donghyuck manage to make him agree to be hired as his replacement sitter knowing their past and everything. His eyes look at the direction of the couch briefly then back onto the kitchen floor.

“I know… it’s just that I haven’t seen him so long. You didn’t even give me a heads up that he was the one who was replacing Sooyoung.”

Donghyuck lets out a hearty laugh, _“I didn’t know it was going to be him! Yukhei just brought him to the cafe and told me that he was the babysitter his sister used to have. But he said that Renjun was a really good sitter, I think he’ll be able to manage Chenle. And besides, I did tell you it was a surprise.”_

Jeno smiles and shakes his head.

_“Go back to Renjun. Please be nice to him and apologize.”_

“That was the plan, Hyuck.”

_“Don’t fuck this up, Jeno.”_

Jeno stares at the screen of his phone as soon as Donghyuck hangs up. His palms start to sweat again, body feeling hot because of the embarrassment from the previous situation. He doesn’t know how to do this. Jeno gives himself a small pep talk before moving to the couch neatly placed in the center of his living room. When Jeno reaches the couch, he sees Chenle out of the pen and onto Renjun’s lap. His baby lets out a loud giggle as Renjun plays peek-a-boo with him. He internally coos at the sight. But he reminds himself that he has to be professional, he won't let their past conflict affect this and he definitely let his feelings resurface again.

“Renjun,” Jeno softly calls him.

When Renjun hears his name he immediately turns his head in Jeno's direction. A massive smile graces his features as he responds with a joyful,

“Hey Jeno, welcome back.”

Jeno knows he won’t last.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


“I’d like to apologize for earlier, Renjun. My body just reacted like that and I really didn’t mean to slam the door,” Jeno explains himself. He sits on the couch chair diagonally aligned to the sofa. Chenle is still on Renjun’s lap clinging onto him like a koala bear. When he tried to reach and carry his son earlier, Chenle hid his face in the elder’s chest and balled his tiny hands onto his shirt. 

“It’s really okay, Jeno! I mean, Yukhei and Donghyuck did tell me you didn’t know I was going to be the new sitter so your reaction is reasonable.”

“It really wasn’t, Renjun. It was really rude of me to do that so I hope this won’t affect our relationship.”

Renjun looks at him and gives him a warm smile, “It won’t. I promise you.”

It feels like everything just visibly stops and the only thing Jeno can feel is the way his chest is tightening. He finds it hard to breathe for a moment. Renjun’s words may seem like nothing in another person’s point of view but to Jeno, he knows it holds so much more meaning than just what happened earlier. A cough broke him from his trance.

“You okay there, Jeno? You zoned out for a bit.”

Jeno shakes his head and gives Renjun his signature eye smile, “Yeah. Was just distracted.”

The elder hums and looks back at the cute little baby sitting on his lap. He tickles the baby’s side as the little boy goes into a fit of giggles.

“Now,” he looks back at Jeno with a determined smile, “why don’t you acquaint me with this cutie right here?”

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


It is Renjun’s first official day today. 

Yesterday, they agreed upon moving the more formal first day the following day as the previous events were too overwhelming to Jeno. They just did their formalities like introducing Chenle to him, talking about his schedule as well as his son’s and the duties Renjun would need to fulfil as the Lee’s babysitter.

Jeno is very nervous, he doesn’t know why. Maybe he couldn’t get the embarrassment out of his system from yesterday’s event as it kept on replaying in his head over and over again (or maybe Donghyuck kept on mentioning in their group chat before he went to bed).They had agreed upon what time Renjun would come in and what time he would go home then went through Jeno and Chenle’s day to day schedule so Renjun would be more familiar with it. Jeno wakes up an hour before six to prepare for the day. He bathes and changes into his work clothes then starts to cook Chenle’s breakfast and snacks he would be bringing for at the daycare. He adds an extra serving for breakfast thinking that Renjun might still have that habit of skipping meals. Jeno assumes. As he starts to set the table, the doorbell rings. Jeno wipes his hands onto the apron and opens the door to invite Renjun in. The smaller chunks out of his coat and hangs it at the rack near the door.

“Good morning, Renjun. Come sit down, I prepared breakfast,” Jeno says as he gestures to the table.

Renjun rubs his eyes and gives him a lopsided smile, “Did you guess I haven’t eaten breakfast yet, Jeno?”

Jeno grins, “yeah. So,” he goes behind Renjun and guides him to the table and pushes his shoulder down to sit on the middle chair, “wait here while I wake Chenle up.”

He hears the other mumble out a small thank you as Jeno walks through the hallway and into Chenle’s room. He comes out a few minutes later with his baby in his arms as he navigates his way to the dining table. He delicately places his son into the high chair next to his chair and places the serving onto the rest in front of him. 

“Here you go, Lele,” Jeno says to him.

Chenle sits comfortably, swaying left to right as sleep was still evident in his features. He isn’t as livey compared to yesterday but after a few hours and a bath, he’ll go back to being hyper. The baby grabs the spoon softly and starts munching onto his apple jam. Jeno smiles then proceeds to sit. He sees Renjun start eating the food Jeno prepared so he starts as well.

Breakfast goes silently, nothing but the sound of utensils surrounding them. There is a slight tension in the air but nothing too suffocating. When they finish eating their breakfast, Renjun offers to wash the dishes so Jeno can finish preparing to go to work. After brushing his teeth, Jeno grabs his bag and walks out his room so he can head to work. He goes to the playpen by living room to peck Chenle on his cheek as a goodbye. He passes Renjun by the kitchen and bids him as well. 

“Have a safe trip!”

Jeno doesn’t know what to expect for this day to hold.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


Jeno would say that that was one of the best days he’s had in awhile.

He remembers when he got back that day. He expects Renjun to be sitting on the couch with Lele waiting for him to come back, like Soonyoung used to do it, so he heads back to his place. But instead he is welcomed with a delicious scent of curry outside his apartment door. Chenle immediately runs towards him as soon as Jeno opens the door. 

“Appa! Curry!” the little boy says as he quickly pulls Jeno’s hand.

Jeno can't help but chuckle at how adorable his son is acting. He lets him drag him to the dinning room where Renjun stands. He is wearing Chenle’s apron, a yellow apron with little sun patterns scattered onto the cloth. It is a bit big on Chenle but fits alright onto Renjun’s figure. Even donning a simple kitchen apron, Jeno couldn’t take his eyes off the smaller. He looks absolutely adorable that made Jeno rethink everything he said to himself last week.

Renjun coughs, causing Jeno to break trance. Jeno couldn’t help but notice a flush of pink spread over Renjun’s cheeks, “I’m sorry did you say something, Renjun?”

He gave Jeno a small smile, “Let’s eat, yeah?”

Jeno quickly nods and picks up Chenle to place him in his high chair, “No, appa! Chenle wants to sit next to Renjun hyung.”

“Hyung?” he raises his brow at Chenle.

“Sorry, I taught him that. Uncle made me feel so… old,” Renjun explains as he sits down.

Jeno laughs, “Renjun we’re in our mid twenties. I think it's safe to say we’re old.”

Renjun cringes his nose at him and says, “well, you can live being old. I wanna feel young forever. Come here, Chenle. We can’t have the oldies hanging around you.” 

Chenle hops off Jeno’s arms and into Renjun as the elder helps the boy sit on the seat next to him, “There we go! Is Lele comfortable?”

The child nods vigorously and starts demanding for food. The two adults smile at him as Jeno hands his son’s plate over to the sitter. Dinner is more comfortable than breakfast. No tension lingers in the air as Chenle’s voice fills the atmosphere with his endless stories about what happened in the daycare and what he and Renjun did for the day. It is safe to say that Chenle took a liking to his new sitter. Jeno is glad. After cleaning up and washing the dishes, Chenle is starting to get tired as he yawns in Renjun’s arms as soon as Jeno finishes washing the dishes.

“Why don’t we get you ready for bed, Lele? Hmm?” Jeno asks as he extends his arms to let Chenle grab him but to his avail, his son buries his face onto his sitter’s chest and shakes his head.

That’s odd. Chenle is never like this. Even back then when Sooyoung was his sitter, he always would cling onto Jeno whenever there was an opportunity.

“Why is that, honey?” he asks, kneeling in front of the two.

“Don’t like hyung to go yet,” he replies sleepily.

Both adults chuckle at Chenle, “But Lele, hyung has to go back to his place now. It’s getting dark and you don’t want me missing the metro right?”

Chenle shakes his head and mumbles soft no’s.

“Okay then. Now you have to go to your appa so he can start preparing you for bed, hm?” Renjun tells Chenle as the baby nods his head then reaches out his arms towards his dad to be lifted. Jeno gently grabs Chenle from Renjun and cradles his head onto his shoulder.

“Let me walk you to the door,” Jeno whispers as Renjun shakes his head.

“It’s okay, Jeno. You can put Chenle to bed first, I can manage.”

Jeno tries to protest but he hears his baby softly whine from his shoulder which causes Renjun to smile at the sight, “Go now.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Renjun.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Renjun’s first week as Chenle’s babysitter was surprisingly smooth. Jeno would wake up at 6 to prepare Chenle and Renjun breakfast, so he would always whip something quick for them both. He would leave his apartment as soon as Renjun arrived there, having small talk before heading out. His day would go by at the bakery, preparing and making freshly made batches. At 5 in the afternoon, Jeno would head back to his house with Chenle anticipating his arrival and Renjun’s delicious meals awaiting for him. The awkwardness (mostly on Jeno’s side) of last week’s event quickly subsidding. 

Jeno couldn’t describe how it was. It seems like ever since Renjun first held Chenle, everything fell into place and just smoothly went along. He hadn’t felt this relieved in months, Renjun was very considerate and did everything perfectly. Even on weekends, Renjun would still come over to visit Chenle as the 2 year-old requests the older’s presence. Jeno couldn’t say no with the pleading face his baby would make (and the amount of tantrums he had). 

Whenever Renjun hanged around the Lee’s household, he would play around with Chenle by the living room while Jeno was doing his baking experiments. It didn’t feel like Renjun was babysitting Chenle, it was more like a close friend coming over to spend time with them. Sometimes when Chenle took his afternoon naps, Renjun would help Jeno around in the kitchen. Jeno would teach Renjun the basics and how everything worked around. How you need the exact measurements or putting hot butter then adding live yeast was a really bad idea, Renjun was clearly listening to every word Jeno would say. Sometimes when they were doing their own task around the kitchen, they’d touch hands or bump into each other causing the both of them to blush or give shy smiles. But sadly, it never went past fleeting touches and glances. 

Even when Jeno was at work, Renjun would make his presence known via text messages. He would get messages from him with pictures attached to them of his and Chenle’s adventures. Renjun explained that that’s how he wanted to update Jeno on Chenle’s day. He didn’t want him missing a happy moment the boy had. Jeno would occasionally reply with pictures as well of the bakery’s latest creation or Chenle’s uncles. But on a particular day, Jeno was feeling really comfortable around Renjun that he became bold. 

Too bold...

**renjun**

_10:08AM_

[2 images attached]

\- sorry chenle grabbed my phone

\- he is eating ice cream with jisung

\- tell donghyuck his boyfriend sucks

\- he left me to babysit his son, they

dont pay me to take care of sungie !!!

**jeno**

_10:08AM_

you should send selfies of yourself as well >:( - 

i wanna see you too :(( -

oh no renjun -

mark left you alone with jisung and chenle? -

wait did jisung eat ice cream as well??? -

**renjun**

_10:12AM_

\- wait

\- what

**jeno**

_10:12AM_

they get hyperactive if they have too much sugar -

is mark w you already? i dont think you can handle those two alone -

**renjun**

_10:14AM_

\- oh yeah

\- he’s here already

\- me and chenle are heading back already

**jeno**

_10:15AM_

have a safe trip! -

He didn’t remember anything or what he texted after that. So the next day Jeno almost drops his phone when he checks his phone notification. Renjun had sent him pictures again but this time after the picture of Chenle running around the playground with his friends was a picture of Renjun pouting with his pointer finger placed on his lips, eyebrows furrowed.

**renjun**

_9:32AM_

[4 images attached]

\- chenle says he misses you

\- he told me to send u pic of him

[1 image attached]

\- here’s a picture of me too

\- just in case you miss me

\- cause i miss you

Jeno felt like fainting that day.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Renjun is fully capable of being Chenle’s babysitter Jeno could fully vouch for that. It comes to light one day when Jeno receives a call from said babysitter suddenly after his lunch break has just ended. He is caught by surprise because Renjun doesn’t usually call unless it really was an emergency, so he excuses himself to the back to answer it. 

“Hello?”

_“Jeno! Thank god you answered on the first ring,”_ Renjun says on the phone. Jeno could hear a faint sound of crying in the background.

“Is everything alright?” He asks.

The elder sighs, _“It isn’t actually. C-can you come back home? Chenle’s teacher had called me to get in the daycare to pick-up him since he’d been crying and refused to move at all. She said he's been asking for you.”_

He hears the panic in Renjun’s voice, how wary he is and the concern for his son. The crying gets louder as Renjun’s muffles as he tries to console the crying baby. Jeno bites his lip. His heart starts to ache and finds it harder to breathe as the cries never seem to end. He tells Renjun that he’ll clock out now and catch a cab instead to get back home quicker. Donghyuck and Yukhei understand the situation when Jeno tells them about what happened and assures him that they can handle the bakery today without him. He hauls a cab outside the bakery and tells him his address.

When Jeno arrives at his apartment, he can hear his baby’s cries from outside so he quickly opens the door. Renjun stands in the living room with Chenle in his arms trying his best to calm him down as the boy wails loudly, crying his father’s name. The babysitter spots Jeno and hastily walks towards him to give the baby to him. Jeno accepts Chenle and starts to bounce him, whispering reassuring words to help calm him.

“Appa is here, Lele. Appa is here. Everything is going to be okay, hmm?” He sweetly says. Chenle fists his shirt and hides his face in his father’s neck as he continues to cry. He presses a kiss on his baby’s temple as a way to try and help his baby’s cries die down. 

Renjun rubs Chenle’s back, trying to soothe his feelings better. He pushes the baby’s hair away from his eyes as it is starting to cling onto his forehead from all the sweat. After half an hour of kisses and back rubs, Chenle’s cries finally stop and he lays limp in his father's arms, fast asleep. The two smile at him adoringly and move towards the nursery. Jeno lays him on his crib and presses a long kiss again on his forehead. He stares at him for a moment before he steps back and stands next to Renjun.

“Thank you for taking care of him while I was gone. Did his teacher say anything why he was crying? Did he throw a tantrum?”

Renjun shakes his head, “He didn’t throw a tantrum. His teacher just told me that when she came back from a bathroom break, he was crying already and refused to talk to anyone. Luckily he recognized me when I got there and obliged to come home.”

Jeno nods, a frown on his lips and creases starts to form in between his eyebrows as he nods his head, “I see.”

“Is this the first time this happened?” The babysitter asks quietly.

“No. It isn’t.”

“Oh.”

Jeno fixes the hair that is sticking out on Chenle’s head, “It happened a while back. A couple of boys were teasing him because he didn’t have a mom. Calling him names, it really made him upset.”

“Oh gosh.”

“Yeah. He kept on asking me ever since why he didn’t have a mom like everyone else,” he carrasses his head and hums.

“Well,” Renjun pauses for a moment, “where is she?”

“Who?”

“Chenle’s mom.”

Jeno stops his hand and visibly stiffens. Chenle’s mom's whereabouts is a touchy subject to not only his son but to himself as well. He hasn’t talked about her since Chenle was born into this world. Her name has never been mentioned since he moved here to build a life with Chenle. It isn’t that Jeno doesn’t enjoy talking about her, it's that he always gets sad as the old memories of her replay in his mind. He loves her with all his heart. Renjun seems to notice the uncomfortable state of Jeno and quickly apologizes.

“Jeno, I’m sorry. I overstepped my boundaries- I’m sorry.”

The younger shakes his as he looks at the smaller with a sad smile, “No, it's okay, Renjun. Don’t apologize.”

“No, no. It isn’t really my place to ask about personal ma-”

“Its _okay,_ Renjun,” Jeno emphasizes softly as he walks towards him and places his hands on the elder’s shoulders', “You’re a big part of Chenle’s life and you deserve to know. I just… I don’t think it’s the right time to talk about it now.”

Renjun looks up at him, his eyes soften and his mouth agape. Jeno stares back at him then quickly looks at his lips then back to his eyes, “Is it okay that you give me some time?” he whispers quietly.

It takes a moment for Renjun to respond but he nods, “I’ll wait.”

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


“How’s Renjun as a sitter, Jeno?” Yukhei asks on a gloomy Thursday afternoon, “tomorrow is gonna mark his third month as Lele’s sitter, right?”

Business is slow, seeing how less people are coming in to purchase pastries from them. It is already ber-months meaning, more event orders coming their way. Donghyuck blames the newly opened soveineur shop that opened a few blocks away for their slow business lately, Jeno blames the rain.They are at the back preparing orders for a birthday party happening later tonight. The caterers would be arriving four hours from now so they were just finishing the last few batches.

“Fourth actually! He’s been a big help to us since he started,” he replies enthusiastically as he finishes coating the breads into the powdered sugar then proceeds to clean off his hands of any excess powder, “Chenle adjusted to him the first time they met which took me by surprise honestly.”

“Damn, it's been three months already?” Donghyuck asks as he rolls over the dough and grabs more flour to put on his hands.

Jeno nods, “Time flies so fast. I was thinking of baking him something as a thank you gift.”

“Oh? So it isn’t awkward with you two anymore?” Yukhei tilts his head, genuine curiosity shines in his eyes.

“No? Why would you think it would be awkward?”

Yukhei glances at Donghyuck who was finishing kneading the dough. Jeno doesn’t need to be told what Yukhei is trying to tell. 

“Really Donghyuck? You told Xuxi?”

Hyuck glances at Jeno’s direction briefly before he continues to knead the dough Yukhei had just finished making, “Yes, it was a very hilarious story. Besides, I won’t let this die down too easily. Imagine with everything that happened before, added up with _that_ iconic moment.”

Jeno groans from his spot as he hears his phone receive a notification in his apron pocket. He looks at it to find Renjun sending him several photos of Chenle playing by the playground outside the daycare with Jisung. The younger smiles as he proceeds to send a picture of the dough Donghyuck was doing. He doesn’t want to be reminded at all. Yeeun texted him a warning about messing things up so he was definitely on the edge on everyone’s list. Looks like all of the people he knows are part of the Renjun protection squad, even his son. He sees Yukhei from the corner of his eyes shift onto the stool he was currently sitting on. His head looking back and forth to Donghyuck and him. He coughs then looks at Jeno’s way.

“I’m just curious, what happened to you in high school? I know you mentioned you had a falling out but… what exactly happened?” 

Donghyuck stands up from where he was seated, “Oh please let me tell Yukhei! Please please please!”

“Why?” Jeno asks in disbelief as he takes a seat across from his best friend.

“Cause, I love telling the saddening story of the baker boy pouring his little heart out at the convenience store.”

He rolls his eyes before he shrugs, “Yeah, sure. Go ahead.”

Donghyuck claps his hands causing particles of flour to fly around him as he turns to Yukhei, “Okay so you know how Jeno took Renjun out while prom was happening?” the taller nods, “well, they went to the convenience store where we used to hang out all the time after our study group and Jeno here thought it was a good idea to confess to Renjun there, romantic no?”

“Hyuck at least tell it better,” Jeno whines but his best friend pays him no mind.

“So Jeno buys them both ramyeon to eat over but as soon as he sits in front of Renjun he blurbs it all out like the idiot he is-”

“Donghyuck!”

“-but get this. I wasn’t expecting it actually cause I know my radar is never wrong. After Jeno poured his heart out to pretty little Renjun, all Renjun said to Jeno was ‘I’m straight’.”

Jeno buries his face into his hands as he hears Yukhei and Donghyuck laugh at his misery. The night replays vividly in his mind, Jeno’s head spinning and heart aching as soon as heard Renjun utter those damn words. It wasn’t that Jeno was against it. He fully respected Renjun’s preference when it came to dating. It was just how Jeno felt at that moment and how oblivious he felt that he started to question himself if was truly Renjun’s best friend. He had ruined his friendship that night. It was something Jeno put behind him as it was really a memory in his mind that he never wants to relive in his life. 

His two co-workers' laughs died down eventually and were slightly out of breath. Yukhei’s hands were on his knees supporting him while Donghyuck lay flat against the counter top. 

“Sorry for laughing so much, Jeno. I just didn’t expect that at all,” Yukhei says as he lets out a few giggles and starts walking towards the refrigerator near the sink. He grabs a water bottle and chucks it down in one go.

“Right? I thought it was weird cause I know my gaydar is never wrong but with Renjun,” Donghyuck couldn’t finish his sentence as he goes into another fit of laughter. Jeno just rolls his eyes at him as he goes back to his phone and looks at the photos Renjun sent him of Chenle earlier in the day.

“Oh no, Hyuck. Your gaydar is perfectly fine,” Yukhei says, throwing away the water bottle into the trash bin.

Donghyuck shakes his head and extends his hand as Yukhei passes him a water bottle, “I wasn’t, Xuxi. Like I said, Renjun told Jeno here that he’s straight. A heterosexual. He likes girls, women. The jugs. He likes pu-”

“Yes, Donghyuck! We get you.”

“Damn, Jeno. Don’t need to get all bitchy with me. Ain’t my fault you like straight boys,” Donghyuck says as he sits up straight and opens the cap.

“But that’s the thing! Renjun isn’t straight,” Yukhei says as he leans on the counter Jeno is currently at.

“What do you mean?” Donghyuck raises his brow at Yukhei as he starts drinking his water.

Yukhei sighs as he looks at Jeno who stopped scrolling through the pictures his babysitter sent him to look back at the elder. He brings his gaze back to Donghyuck, “Renjun used to bring his boyfriend around while he was on the job back then.”

Donghyuck, out of shock, spits the water that was in his mouth towards Yukhei and Jeno causing them both to scream in disgust with the tan boy’s reaction.

“Hyuck what the hell!”

The boy ignores them both as he looks directly at the elder, “who brought what to where now?”

* * *

  
  


The cold breeze from his balcony passes Jeno fast as he sits on the plastic chair, admiring the view of Seoul displayed before him. Jeno couldn’t sleep after Yukhei’s revelation earlier in the day. He is at daze thinking how Renjun rejected him back then saying he was straight but started to date men years later. He didn’t want to think about it, he should stop thinking about it but he can’t. He thinks about the possibilities. Maybe he was just too afraid back then to tell Jeno. Maybe he just saw the younger as a friend rather than a lover. Maybe Renjun just had his sexual awakening too late. Maybe Renjun just didn’t like Jeno the way Jeno liked him. He keeps reasoning to himself that he wasn’t at ease cause Renjun used that on him. Not because he had a boyfriend.

Renjun had a boyfriend.

Jeno thinks of the intimate moments Renjun supposedly had with this boyfriend- well _ex-_ boyfriend. His stomach churns and twists in a weird way making Jeno uncomfortable. He tries to forget about it but he can’t.

_“Yeah! It was his old college boyfriend, uhm, Jaemin I think?”_

_“Wait Jaemin like Na Jaemin from medtech?” Donghyuck’s eyes widens as he looks at Yukhei, “You’re kidding right? Maybe they were just close friends.”_

_“No! I know they weren’t. Wait, I think I have a picture of them on my phone.”_

_“Lemme see!”_

He remembers the photo Yukhei had shown him and Donghyuck. It seemed like they were at a dinner party when it was taken. A tall blonde boy has his arm wrapped around Renjun’s waist, the smaller close by his side as Renjun smiles at the camera. The other boy however was looking at Renjun with a smile and gaze that held so much affection. Jeno doubts they were just friends. He couldn’t remember who this Na Jaemin was, but Donghyuck spoke so highly of him. Talking about how he was so athletic but at the same time having one of the most astonishing GPA in the university, how he was in almost every organization and volunteer events. Why did Jeno only hear about him now?

_“I’m athletic too! And smart,” Jeno answers as he rolls his eyes at Donghyuck._

_The boy scoffs at Jeno and tilts his head at him, “Sure you are.”_

Jeno frowns, he is around the same level as that Na Jaemin. As a matter of fact, Jeno is far ahead of him. He is taller than him, has broader shoulders, a better built, an eye smile to die for and he’s sure that Na Jaemin couldn’t bake a banana loaf bread perfectly like him. So why didn’t Renjun date him instead?

Jeno lets out a soft grunt and then buries his face onto his hands. He shouldn’t be comparing himself to Renjun’s exes. It isn’t like he’s going to date his son’s babysitter. He won’t let his past feelings resurface again. He swears it.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Jeno stares out the bakery’s window, gray clouds hovering above them as the sky darkens by the minute. It was an hour before Jeno’s shift at the bakery ends. The bell rings by the door as a customer exit. Jeno taps his foot impatiently, chin resting on top of his palm with his elbow prompted on the table near the cashier. He is starting to get worried that the rain would start sooner than the predicted time the weather forecast had expected. He isn’t worried that it would start raining as soon as he leaves the bakery. He is worried that when he gets back to the apartment and it's time for Renjun to leave after dinner that the rain will pour. The weather lady predicted that there would be heavy rainfall, Jeno hopes that it wouldn’t be.

Donghyuck catches him staring outside and whistles, “Looks like it's gonna rain hard tonight.”

“Yeah,” Jeno mumbles preoccupied thinking how he would convince Renjun to let him bring him back home.

“Did you guys bring an umbrella?” Lucas asks them as he sweeps the floor. 

Donghyuck shakes his head, his eyes never leaving his phone, “Mark is coming to pick me up later so I didn’t bring one. What about you two?”

“I brought one before I left my apartment. The weather forecast said it was gonna pour so much so we shouldn’t underestimate it.”

Jeno nods, “It's better to be safe than sorry.”

It is now closing time. Jeno waits for Donghyuck to hop into his and Mark’s shared car. He heads back inside and grabs a piece of cheese bread for Jisung as the younger kept on whining in their car asking for a snack baked by his Uncle Yukhei and Uncle Jeno. He watches the card drift off the street as he bids the family goodbye. Yukhei is on his way to the metro back to his place. He had to say leave first as he needed to pick up the flower arrangements he ordered for his boyfriend since it is their first year anniversary. Jeno was in awe so he refused to let Yukhei go home without a box of strawberry shortcake in hand for the both of them to enjoy. 

He looks up at the clock to see what time it is. The raven-haired boy took the metro to work instead of taking his car since the engine broke so it was currently at the mechanic getting fixed. Jeno is thinking about saving up to buy a new one but on the other hand, he’s thinking about how Chenle needs a new crib. 

He just finished cleaning the back and cleaning the pantries since Yukhei took the leftover bread to give to the shelter that he would pass by to get to the metro. Jeno checks around if he misplaced anything or places he hasn’t cleaned. When he’s finally satisfied with the back, he moves to the front where they usually display the bread to see if he left anything. Jeno looks at the last plastic box before he gives his approval. 

He can finally head back home.

Jeno has his back to the entrance as he tries to grab the keys to the backdoor on the topmost shelf when he hears the bell of the main door chime. He turns around to say they’re close but he stops mid-sentence when he sees who came in. Dressed in a thick padded coat, there stood one of the most beautiful boy Jeno lay his eyes upon with a small smiling child in his left hand while the other hold a wet umbrella. The boy stares up at Jeno and starts running towards him.

“Appa!” Chenle screams as he waddles his way to Jeno who stepped down on the stool.

He opens his arms to welcome his baby as he turns them both around. He presses wet kisses repeatedly onto Chenle’s cheeks, “What are you two doing here?”

“Appa no umbrella!” Chenle exclaims as he crosses his arms and tries to look angrily at his father. 

Jeno smiles as he pinches one of the puffed out cheeks, “Appa has an umbrella, what do you mean?”

“No! Hyung said appa left umbrella home,” Chenle frowns.

“You did leave your umbrella at home, Jeno,” Renjun says as he shakes the umbrella he was currently holding, “I saw it by the door earlier when the clouds started to get darker. I didn’t want you to end up getting stranded here so Chenle and I took the metro here to give it to you.”

Jeno glances outside and indeed it was already starting to rain. He feels his cheeks heat, a bit embarrassed and bashful. He feels confused as well as he remembers putting his umbrella in his bag before he went out earlier though. He feels really relieved and touched by both of them thinking of his well-being.

“Thank you,” he says to Renjun and then to Chenle. He plants a long fat kiss on his son’s cheek causing him to whine while the elder chuckles at the baby.

“We should probably head back now. It might start pouring soon,” Renjun says as he starts to walk towards Jeno and place his hands under Chenle’s armpits, “You can finish what you’re doing, me and Chenle will wait for you.”

The younger nods then stands on the stool again to reach for the keys. When he feels them on the palm of his hand, he grabs it and heads down. Jeno locks the cashier and leads the way to the backdoor. The sound of the rain becomes louder as they step out. Jeno opens the umbrella for them to go under.

“Wait, are we going to fit?” Renjun asks as he stares Jeno who is holding the umbrella under the rain, “I don’t think I thought this through.”

Jeno looks up and he does realize it is kind of small for them three unless they stick together really closely. Which eventually gives Jeno an idea. He moves to go to Renjun’s side and slips his arm around the smaller’s waist then pulls him and Chenle closer. The elder wasn’t expecting it so he jumps in surprise. 

“I-is this okay?” He asks in a soft tone, his grip loosening. 

Renjun seems to notice so he presses himself and Chenle closer to Jeno, unable to look the younger in the eye as he nods, “It’s okay.”

Jeno feels his cheeks go hotter, “Okay.”

They start their trek back home to Jeno’s apartment. Jeno knows he’ll enjoy this.

  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


As soon as they get home, they remove Chenle from his clothing and start to prepare his bath. The rain hadn’t slowed down by the time they reached Jeno’s area. As a matter of fact, it even rains harder which makes the commute back home harder. They couldn’t get a taxi to drive them back to their apartment so they walked all the way from the metro. The three of them were drenched in rain as no matter what angle Jeno had placed the umbrella, the wind carried the water towards their direction. They move fast despite being drenched themselves, prioritizing Chenle more. Renjun is with his son bathing him while Jeno prepares the fresh clothes for his baby. He hears faint footsteps coming his direction. Jeno quickly clothes Chenle of his nightwear while Renjun helps guide the baby from behind. When they finish, Chenle knocks out so quickly in his crib as both adults breathe out a sigh of relief.

“I’ll check in the morning if he gets a fever, I’ll take a leave at the bakery if that happens.”

Renjun nods, “I’ll help you out.”

Jeno feels the drops of water trickle down his hair onto his cheek as the cold air conditioning swifts its way to them. The two shiver, Renjun’s teeth chattering as he wraps his arms around himself. Jeno notices the smaller as he moves to Chenle’s cabinet to grab a spare towel. He moves back to their spot and hands it to Renjun.

“Here, you should take a bath. We don’t want you catching a fever as well,” Jeno says as he smiles at him.

Renjun shakes his head and pushes Jeno’s hand back gently, “No, no. It’s okay, Jeno. I can take a bath when I get back home.”

“I don’t think you’ll be able to go home anytime soon, because,” Jeno looks behind Renjun as the smaller follow his gaze. The rain was still pouring, no sign whatsoever that it’ll stop. The heavy sound echoing from outside and into the unit. Jeno sees Renjun slump his shoulders as he watches the rain fall down. The younger guesses Renjun isn’t comfortable showering in another person’s household, let alone someone who confessed their undying love to you at a convenience store. But Jeno refuses to let Renjun go home in this type of weather. His safety matters the most to Jeno.

He steps a bit closer and grabs Renjun’s hands to place the towel on them gently, “You can use the bathroom down the hall. I’ll fetch you dry clothes to wear.”

“Thank you,” Renjun mumbles, his eyes glued to the towel on his hand refusing to meet Jeno’s gaze as the taller gives him a warm smile.

Jeno walks out of the nursery to go into his room and look for a couple of his old clothes that he thinks could fit Renjun. He opens the bathroom door as he hears the shower turn on. He quickly places them on the counter by the sink and grabs Renjun’s wet garments before closing the door again. He walks to Chenle’s room to get the wet clothes to put in the dryer along with his babysitter’s. The younger heads back to his room and takes a shower of his own. 

He walks out of the bedroom in a pair of sweats and a towel around his neck as he walks to the laundry room to throw in his clothes as well into the dryer. Jeno could still hear the shower running so he decides to brew some drinks to warm them both up. He prepares them both apple cinnamon raisin, Renjun’s favorite. Jeno uses the towel on his neck to rub his hair dry while waiting for the water to finish heating up. The pot finishes whistling at the same time he hears the shower stop running, he guesses that Renjun is done bathing. Quickly snatching two mugs from the cupboard, Jeno pours the hot water into them after the tea bag. He grabs both mugs and brings them to the living room and places them on the coffee table. The remote is near so Jeno decides to open something up so the two of them can watch something while they wait for the rain to die down.

As soon as he hears the door closing behind him, Jeno turns around to greet Renjun with a smile. When he spots the smaller, he sees his face visibly red which causes Jeno to worry.

“Renjun? Are you okay?” He asks, concern laced in his tone as he walks towards him. Jeno lifts his hand and presses the back of his hand onto Renjun’s forehead then sighs in relief, “Okay, you don’t have a fever. You scared me there for a moment.”

“I’m sorry. I’m okay, don’t worry,” Renjun softly replies as he looks at the floor.

The babysitter’s reddened cheeks haven’t died down which confuses Jeno. He grabs the smaller’s cheeks gently and lifts up his head making him look at the other, “Are you sure you’re okay? Your face is really red.”

Renjun nods, “Y-yes. It’s just that uh- you’re shirtless...”

What?

Jeno looks down at his chest to see that he is in fact shirtless. He’s grown accustomed to having no shirt on after a good shower since he only lived with his son and hardly anyone sleeps over at his place. He quickly feels his ears and cheeks warm up, he drops his hands from where they were placed on Renjun’s face and quickly dashes back to his room to change into a shirt.

Jeno is a total idiot.

  
  


* * *

  
  


He comes out of his room a few minutes later with a shirt on, upper body fully clothed. The rain is still pouring outside as the noise from the television melts alongside it, echoing in the whole apartment. Jeno spots Renjun sitting on the couch he first sat on the day he came to Jeno’s place, adjacent to the television. His hands are holding the dirty white mug as he takes a sip of the tea. Jeno walks towards the couch and plops himself beside the smaller, “You can stay here until the rain stops. I don’t think you can get home with how heavy it’s pouring outside. How’s the tea?”

Renjun looks at him and gives him a nod, “Thank you Jeno and it’s really good! I appreciate that you didn’t add any honey, you still remember.”

“Of course, I remember,” he says with a big grin, “how could I forget?”

The elder’s cheeks turn red once again as he tries to hide away from Jeno’s prying eyes, “stop it.” 

He laughs in response, “Would you like some bread? I brought some of the leftovers for us to snack on.”

“That’d be lovely. Thank you.”

Renjun munches on the bread Jeno has just finished heating up in the toaster oven. He brought some chocolate filled sourdough from the bakery. It is one of the bakery’s best sellers, a specialty of Jeno’s. He takes pride in every bread and pastry he makes, all of his creations coming from hard work and perseverance. So it always makes him happy whenever he gets great feedback from people about his food. Especially if it's from someone like Renjun. 

“Oh this is good, Jeno. What is this?” Renjun asks with a mouth full of the sourdough.

He chuckles, “It’s chocolate sourdough. Do you like it?”

He nods hastily, “Yes! It’s really good,” he says as he takes another bite.

Jeno just smiles in return then sips his tea. Seems like his efforts mastering this all those years were worth it. Renjun is already on his fourth piece when Jeno notices a big chunk of chocolate stuck on the far right of the babysitter’s lips. He nudges the smaller’s side and points to the spot where the stain was on his own face.

Renjun seems like he didn’t get it as he just raises a brow, upset he was interrupted, “What?”. 

The younger points on the spot again but Renjun furrows his eyebrows harder. Jeno rolls his eyes and pushes on his skin to try and emphasize what he was saying. Renjun’s features soften as he sits up slowly and leans forward Jeno’s direction, the younger thinking he was trying to get his balance again. But he’s mistaken when he feels a feather-like peck on his cheek, something that was too fast that by the time had processed everything, Renjun moves back to his place and continues to finish his bread.

Jeno feels dizzy and a little bit crazy so he turns to the smaller and takes the plate out of his hands. 

“Jeno what the fu-” Renjun is quickly silenced when something softs press against his lips.

The taller places his hands on the elder’s nape. He feels Renjun’s lips move along with his own, following every movement the younger makes. Jeno caresses the hair on the back of Renjun’s head as the latter leans back at his touch causing Jeno to move forward, not wanting to be separated from his lips. Renjun bites his bottom lip which causes Jeno to sober up from the moment quickly retracting to look at the other who’s currently looking at Jeno with hazy eyes.

“Oh god, Renjun. I’m so so so sorry. I didn’t know what came over me, I-”

Jeno isn’t able to finish his sentence when Renjun practically pounces at him, reconnecting their lips as he presses with more force than Jeno did before. It is more passionate, has more fervor and Jeno can’t help but let out a low grunt when he feels Renjun straddle his hips effectively sitting on his lap. He places his hands on the smaller’s lithe waist, grasping it softly while Renjun holds onto Jeno’s shoulders for support. The kiss is anything but soft. It is absolutely the complete opposite. Jeno already feels out of breath but he can’t stop, the feeling of Renjun’s lips on top of his own is so euphoric that Jeno keeps wanting more and more. Every time Renjun kisses him, Jeno returns the same amount of pressure back to him. He could hear the soft whimpers coming from Renjun which motivates him more.

After a few minutes, the younger pulls back as he tries to catch his breath. Renjun, on the other hand, seems to enjoy this so he kisses the underside of Jeno’s jaw trailing them all the way down until he reaches the junction of his neck and shoulder. He licks a strip there and starts to bite him causing Jeno to groan in satisfaction.

“Renjun,” he says as he lets out a moan when he feels Renjun suck above his collarbone, “Renjun— fuck. Kitten, you gotta calm down.”

Renjun finally shows him some mercy after a few more sucks as he stops his ministrations and places his head on Jeno’s chest. The younger sighs in relief as he threads his fingers through the smaller’s hair. 

“What am I gonna do with you?” Jeno says as the other looks up to him.

He gives him a pout and tries to look cute, in which Jeno’s eyes he always is, “Keep me?”

Jeno can’t help but smile at him and pecks his lips, “Of course. I couldn’t imagine letting you go again.”

Renjun beams at him as he hugs him tightly, expressing his happiness for the other. They stay like that for a while until Jeno maneuvers them both into laying on the couch as he spoons Renjun from the behind. They watch the show currently playing on the tv. 

Renjun doesn’t go home that night.

  
  
  
  


* * *

Okay, Jeno is in trouble.

A week passes by since that moment happened and Jeno cannot (and will not) get it out of his head. It replays in mind, he keeps on rethinking how Renjun sat on top of him, his eyes big as they look at Jeno waiting for his next move, and the lingering feeling of his lips- god _his lips._ The soft and plush feeling pressed on his own, Jeno would do anything to feel them again. He remembers how Renjun clung onto his shirt tightly, his soft whines still ringing in Jeno’s ears he should really stop before he pops a boner. He thought he could suppress it but it was too difficult not to fall in love again with _the_ Huang Renjun. And as much as Jeno wants to be with him, he doesn’t know how to bring up the topic without mentioning or asking if he was still into girls or his past relationship with Na Jaemin. He just wants everything to be official. He doesn’t want Renjun to think he’s some sort of booty call.

This mini-crisis was going in his mind ever since he held Renjun in his arms while walking under the rain. The moment he wrapped his arm around him it almost felt… right. That Renjun had belonged there and should always be there. Jeno imagines moments like those, like them by the couch as a kid’s show plays on the television, his arm on Renjun's shoulder as the smaller rests his back onto Jeno’s chest while they watch Chenle mimic the tv hosts. It is a domestic site in Jeno’s head. It feels like they were a family. 

The morning after that, he’s greeted with a small peck on his lips and a soft good morning. They make breakfast together as Chenle wakes up just in time. Renjun says his goodbye after their meal saying he has an important meeting to tend to, so he bids Chenle goodbye with a small kiss on the head causing the baby to giggle and Jeno with a hug and a smooch on the check.

Jeno thinks after that day, things would go back to normal, maybe even worse. But when morning comes and Renjun hugs Jeno from behind, he knows he’s ascended much more than at the friend level.

Now the only thing on his mind was, _how could he finally call Renjun his boyfriend?_

In total honesty, Jeno has never felt this happy before since Chenle’s birth. The overwhelming feeling of someone being there for you when you get home, a meal and people to wait for you. Someone who will welcome you with a warm embrace. It used to be only his baby doing that but his heart feels fuller knowing Renjun is there as well. For the past week, they’ve shared more than enough kisses and hugs. Not afraid to be affectionate in front of Jeno’s son nor is Jeno shy to hold Renjun’s hand every time they go out to the park on a family lunch date. 

He is at his apartment waiting for Chenle and Renjun to come back from their grocery run. The younger wanted to come along with them but he had to stay back as he was waiting for Yeeun to come over and pick-up the cake she ordered as a gift to his friends who are having a dinner party tonight. So while waiting, Jeno tries mapping out a plan, something that knows will work. A confession that will be full proof, no heterosexuality blocking his path now, and definitely no _Na Jaemin_ to woo his lover away. He thinks hard of all of the possibilities he could do when the doorbell rings causing him to lose trance of what he was thinking. The doorbell constantly rings as it annoys Jeno, he knows who’s behind this.

The boy opens the door to reveal a familiar blonde bob wearing a fitting royal blue mermaid dress. She smiles at him and opens his arms, “Jeno, darling! How are you?”

Jeno rolls his eyes at her, “Hold on. Let me get the cake.”

She frowns at Jeno and drops her arms, “What? No greeting for your favorite person in the world?”

“My favorite person in the world happens to be Chenle,” he replies back as he takes large strides to the kitchen to get the paper bag with the box of cake in it. He walks back and hands the bag to Yeeun and she frowns at him.

“Where’s Elkie and Eunbin?” he asks looking left and right outside.

“They’re downstairs waiting in the car. The event starts in,” she lifts up her wrist to look at her clock, “ten minutes.”

“Yeeun! Oh my gosh, you’re gonna be late. Get out of here!”

The woman chuckles and shrugs her shoulder, “Eh, it's not like Changmin is gonna be on time anyway. Thanks for the cake though, Jeno. I’ll head off first.” Yeeun starts walking off towards the direction of the elevator.

“Ya! That isn’t free you know,” Jeno shouts as Yeeun only replies with an ‘okay’ sign.

He sighs and closes the door behind him. As soon as Jeno sits back on the couch, the door opens as Chenle comes in running towards his dad. He laughs as he hears Renjun scolding him for not taking off his shoes before coming in. Jeno places the baby on his lap as he takes off his shoes while Renjun places the bags of groceries on the counter. Chenle quickly hops off Jeno’s lap when his father removes his shoes and proceeds to attach himself onto Renjun’s leg.

“Lele sorry for not taking shoes off,” He says with a pout as he tugs Renjun’s pants.

The babysitter couldn’t help but coo and pick up the little boy then starts pressing kisses all over his face, “How can I stay mad at this little cutie.”

Jeno watches by the door at the sight before him. It's something he wants to see every day. The two most precious people in his life together. He walks towards them and wraps his arms around Renjun’s middle then gives him a kiss. He feels Renjun stiffen for a moment, Jeno thinking he was just probably startled. He unlatches himself and starts prepping for dinner. Renjun goes to the living with Chenle still in his arms as he places him in the playpen and turns the TV on for him to watch. Jeno is surprised Renjun doesn’t help out in making dinner as he usually argues with Jeno about it. But he lets it slide, maybe he is exhausted from the walk from the grocery to here. The younger finishes making dinner and they all eat at the table. Chenle quickly finishes his dinner and follows the two adults. Renjun lifts the baby out of his highchair and starts patting his back to help him burp. Jeno gathers their dishes and starts piling them up in the sink for him to wash. He hears rustling from a distance before he feels a presence beside him. He looks up from what he’s doing to see Renjun looking down at his hands.

“Can I help?”

Jeno gives him a smile and nods. He washes the plates and utensils while Renjun wipes them off of the excess water dripping from it. They do it in a rhythm, when Jeno finishes Renjun is there to grab the plate from him. When they finish, they wipe their hands on the towel on the handle of the cupboard below. Renjun looks at Jeno, opening his mouth then closing it again.

“What is it?” Jeno chuckles as he takes off his glasses and wipes the frames using his shirt.

“Did um-... Was someone here earlier?” Renjun asks.

Jeno nods, “Yeah. A friend of mine. She came over to pick up a cake I baked. Why?”

“Huh,” he says as he nods his head back and forth, “was she someone that happens to be close to you?”

“Yeah. I guess you could say that.”

He sees Renjun purse his lips and tilt his head forward, “Could you say that she was someone… dear to your heart? Someone you love?”

Jeno thinks for a moment, completely oblivious to what Renjun was trying to hint at in his questions, “Mhmm, yeah. She’s someone Chenle and I really treasure.”

“I see.”

Silence engulfs them both, an unknown tension in the atmosphere in which Jeno couldn’t describe what it was. They stay placed where they stand, no one daring to move. It is when Chenle starts to cry that Jeno walks out of the kitchen and quickly to his baby’s aid. He lifts him up and holds him in his arms. The baby sniffs as he feels comforted by his father’s presence.

“I think I’ll go back now,” Renjun says as he heads to the door and hastily puts on his shoes.

“Oh? I thought we were up to watch Tangled tonight.”

“Can we reschedule? Something came up and I really need to go,” Renjun says as he has his hand on the doorknob.

Jeno bites his lips and nods, “Yeah, sure. We can reschedule. Lele and I will just watch a different movie.”

“Thank you.”

Renjun makes a move to step out of the apartment but Jeno stops him before he can close the door, “Wait, Renjun.”

The elder looks at him with his eyebrows raised, “Yeah?”

“Is everything alright?” He asks worriedly.

Renjun gives him a tight smile, “Everything is alright, Jeno. I’ll head out now.”

He watches the door close as his baby plays around with the hem of his shirt. Jeno stays there for a while, utterly confused with the signals being thrown at him. Just what exactly is going on. He tries to reassure himself that everything is okay. Renjun told him that everything is alright.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  


Everything was absolutely not alright.

Renjun has been distant lately, Jeno notices. Ever since that night where he started questioning about Yeeun, Renjun has been acting really strange. He usually arrives earlier than expected to spend the early mornings at bed with Jeno just cuddling but now Renjun arrives strictly on time when Jeno leaves _exactly_ to work. When Jeno arrives home, Renjun is already prepared to leave. His satchel by his side while Chenle plays at his playpen. Their usual weekends that were usually filled with bonding moments have turned stale as Renjun would always miss out on them saying he was preoccupied with doing personal matters.

It frustrates Jeno so much.

What was Jeno’s breaking point was when it came to the text messages. The typical Chenle’s pics accompanied with his own share of selfies turned into just regular text messages that updated him if Chenle got to the daycare safely or when they both had already arrived safely back at his apartment. He is losing it.

He tells Donghyuck about it, everything from the start up until to the very present seeking out advice that he didn’t form himself. Jeno does not trust himself when it comes to these types of situations. They were at the back preparing the fresh batches of bread to be served outside. Yukhei is currently attending the counter alongside their new hire, Guanheng. 

“Well, I'm not surprised you’re still into him after all these years. You literally haven’t taken anyone seriously after him,” he says as he covers the new dough they’ve just mixed.

“Yeah, I wasn’t really interested in dating since Chenle was born midway into my college life.”

Donghyuck hums as he moves around to make a new dough to mix, “So what exactly do I need to do here?”

“I don’t know? Maybe tell me good advice? I feel so clueless about this that I might accidentally fuck up everything up.”

“Maybe you’re just overthinking things. I’d be overwhelmed at the pace you two are going, especially if you haven’t talked about what happened before,” Donghyuck passes Jeno the bowl of dried ingredients as the other starts to stir it.

“Really? Do you think I should stop?,” He slows his pace looking at the bowl, feeling weak at the thought that he’s forced Renjun on this unagreed relationship, ”I really don’t want to lose Renjun a second time.”

“Hey,” Donghyuck stops measuring the sugar he was currently holding and walks up to Jeno and grips his shoulders, “You won’t fuck up, okay? I know you mean well to Renjun. You know him better than I do so just do what you think is right, yeah?”

Jeno bites his lip and nods, “I think I might.” He looks up at Donghyuck, “are you and Mark doing something tonight?”

“No. Why?”

“Can you babysit Chenle for me?”

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Jeno tightens the grip of his phone as he looks outside at the door numbers.

**_0723_ ** _,_ Renjun’s apartment number.

He asks Donghyuck a favor to look after Chenle for the night so he can come over to Renjun’s place and clear up everything that has happened. Jeno is still confused as to why the elder started to act like that so before he left the bakery that same day, he asks Yukhei where Renjun was currently living to pay him a visit.

It’s rude considering that Jeno has come over at his place uninvited and basically surprising him. But then again if he doesn’t do this now, Renjun would just keep on avoiding him. He should really tell Renjun to move out here considering no one at the lobby stopped him from going up. He takes a deep breath and counts from one to ten before he presses the doorbell. A muffled _‘wait’_ came from behind the door as it slowly opens revealing Renjun in a white shirt underneath a beige cardigan and loose pants. He looks really soft. Jeno has to resist the urge to pull him into a kiss right there and then. 

Renjun’s eyes widen as he stares at him, “Jeno, what are you doing here?”

“Can we talk?” he asks softly, scared that he might be turned away but to his surprise, Renjun nods and steps to the side to let Jeno in. 

He mumbles a thank you and steps out of his shoes. He takes in Renjun’s studio apartment; the sink is right there as soon as he walks in, adjacent to it is a door which Jeno assumes is the bathroom. Along the hallway is a queen-sized bed and his dresser, in front of it is a screen tv mounted to the wall. Parallel to the bed is a small sofa that had a coffee table right before it, a cactus placed on top of magazines. On Renjun’s coffee table lies a square polaroid framed. It’s an old photo of Renjun that looked like it was taken a couple years back. His hair was dyed hazelnut brown, his face was doing his signature pout. Next to him was a man a bit taller than him copying the same pose as him, leaning his head on Renjun’s shoulder for support. Below writes a date and two names on them.

**_180412 RJ &JM_ **

As soon as he recognizes the other boy in the photo, Jeno has a sudden urge to grab it and throw it out the smaller’s window. Maybe he’ll sneak it inside his jacket pocket and burn it when he gets home.

Jeno takes a seat at the couch while Renjun opts to sit on his bed. The atmosphere isn’t suffocating but you could feel the tension lingering around. Jeno stares at the boy in front of him while the other simply looks at the hands that were on top of his lap as it was the most interesting thing in the world, “So, what do you want to talk about?’

The younger gulps and wipes his hands on his jeans, “I don’t know where to start honestly. But I know something has been bothering you the past few days,” he pauses for a moment trying to gather his wit and ask, “Did I do something wrong?” 

Renjun frowns at him as he starts picking on the loose threads of his cardigan, “No, Jeno. You did nothing wrong. It’s just... I guess it's more of a me problem.”

“Renjun,” he says looking at Renjun intently, “Any problem you’re facing is a problem of mine as well. I want to be there to help you get through this.”

He shakes his head, “Jeno, really. It’s okay. It’s just something petty so it isn’t important.”

Jeno feels something boil within him, “It isn’t petty. You’ve been avoiding me since last week without even telling me what happened. I was left clueless for days thinking if I’ve done anything to upset you.”

“It’s okay, really, we shouldn’t even talk about it,” He defends back.

It looks like Renjun didn’t want to budge. His posture, mood, and way of speaking hints Jeno that he wouldn’t be telling the reason anytime soon. He feels the back of his head hurt as he tries to work a way to let Renjun feel comfortable talking about. 

“Renjun,” Jeno calls his name out, “can I ask you something?” The older briefly looks at him for a moment then nods.

Jeno clutches his his knees and says, “Are you gay?”

The tone of Jeno’s voice and implication seem like he meant something different as Renjun scrunches his nose at his question. Before the other could reply, the younger quickly raises his hands and waves them hastily in front of the other, “Wait, wait that sounded really wrong- um. Let me rephrase that.”

_Okay ask him about that night at the convenience store, Jeno. Don’t say anything stupid again. Compose yourself!_

“Who’s Na Jaemin?”

So much for not saying anything stupid.

“W-what? What about Jaemin?”

“I- no. Wait I’m asking all the wrong questions here,” He says as panic starts to kick in. 

Renjun looks at him, “How do you know Jaemin?”

He briefly looks at the picture frame and tries his best to be subtle but Renjun seems to notice him as he follows his gaze. The elder’s eyes start blinking rapidly while his shoulders start to rise.

Jeno scoots a bit forward to the edge of the couch trying to at least lessen the distance between them two, “Yukhei told me about him a while back, he went to the same college as us.”

“How much did he tell you?”

“How much was I only supposed to know?”

He sees Renjun jaw clench, eyes looking down unable to look Jeno in the eye, “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry for what?” Jeno asks.

“For lying to you. For telling you I was into girls. I-I just didn’t know what to say, it became some sort of defense mechanism for me to say that,” He brings up his arms to wrap around himself, “Thinking about it years later, I didn’t know what I was trying to hide.”

He frowns thinking about how Renjun must have been scared, venturing alone trying to figure out his own sexuality with no guidance whatsoever unlike Jeno who had his mother to support him, “Were you scared?”

“Yeah,” the smaller mumbles as he squirms in his place, “I just didn’t want to hurt you but I just made everything worse,” He could feel the emotions seeping through his words, hurt and anguish evident.

He stands up and walks over to the bed then it's beside him. He sees the elder’s hand ball up into a tight fist so Jeno grabs his hand to intertwine with his and presses a soft fluttering kiss on his birthmark. He places the back of Renjun’s hand on his check as he looks at him, “Renjun, I’m here to listen. I promise you, you won’t hurt me.”

Renjun looks at Jeno as the younger sees that he was trying to talk himself through it, “You don’t have to force yourself as well.”

Jeno could hear Renjun’s heavy breathing from where he sat. His head lay low while Jeno presses another kiss on his hand. He hears Renjun mumble quietly but he’s unable to hear it with how soft he says it.

“Hmm? What was that Renjun?”

Renjun sits up straight but still doesn’t look Jeno in the eye, “I saw her.”

“Saw who?”

“I saw her, Chenle’s mom.”

Jeno’s grip loosens as he stares at Renjun in shock, “You saw what?” he says, his tone slightly higher than usual.

Renjun looks at him underneath his lashes as he tries to pry his hand away from Jeno but the latter quickly grips it back to him, “The woman that left your apartment. Chenle and I passed her by when she was running out of the lobby. He called her ‘mommy’. You didn’t tell me you were still seeing his mom.”

Jeno is completely frozen and baffled at this, he doesn’t know where to start. He feels scared for a moment thinking of the possibility of Renjun seeing Chenle’s mother in the flesh considering it to be a ghastly sight, pun intended. He sighs in relief thinking that this was the root cause of everything.

“Renjun, the woman Chenle was calling his mom? That was his aunt, Yeeun, she’s my friend back from Busan,” he says softly as he sees Renjun’s mouth shut and he gently lays his hand on the elder’s lap, “As for Chenle’s mother… I think it’s time you know the truth.”

He takes a deep breath before he tightens his hold on Renjun’s hand preparing himself for what he’s about to say, “Chenle isn’t my real son.”

Renjun’s head snaps up to look at Jeno who gives the former a sad smile, “what?”

It’s something Jeno never really spoke of because in total honesty he is the only parent Chenle ever knows. His close friends are the only few he has told about this considering it was a touchy subject for the Lee’s. He hates admitting it but its a fact that he will never be Chenle’s real father.

Jeno hums, “I’m not really Chenle’s dad. His mom was my sister who got pregnant by her boyfriend at that time. When he found out about the child, he abandoned her like the asshole that he was,” he feels his blood boil thinking about that bastard that left his sister to raise the baby alone. Renjun senses the anger as he nuzzles his head onto Jeno’s side.

“She had to go back to Busan because our parents found out about the pregnancy. That’s why every break that happened, every suspension that was issued, I went back home. My sister needed every ounce of support she could get. I couldn’t imagine how it was to raise a baby alone so me and my parents were always there for her.”

“Where is she now?” Renjun asks as he plays with Jeno’s fingers.

He pulls his lips into a frown, “she's gone.”

He hears Renjun gasp at his side and feels small arms quickly engulf him into a hug, “Oh Jeno I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry, I should have been more-”

“Renjun, it’s fine. It’s okay, you didn’t know,” he says as he cups the smaller’s face with his left hand.

“Is that why you left during our third year? To help take care of Chenle back there?”

Jeno nods, “She passed away while giving birth to him. Her wish before she died was that Chenle would live the good life he deserves and I’m trying to fulfill that for her.”

He sees Renjun’s eyes watering as tears begin to spill from his pretty eyes. It startles Jeno as the elder starts sniffling, “Junnie why are you crying?”

“I-i just feel s-so stupid and dumb for acting like an asshole to you when a-all this time I misunderstood everything!” He says whipping off the tears using his sleeve.

“It’s okay Renjun, at least everything is clear now.”

Renjun continues to cry as Jeno cradles him in his arms, rubbing circles on his back to try and calm him down. After a few minutes, Renjun stops his hiccupping and buries his head even more in Jeno’s chest. “I’m really sorry, Jeno. Thank you for telling me about your sister. It must be difficult raising Chenle alone.”

“It is. Well- it was, but now that I have you here, at least I know I won’t be alone,” he says looking at the smaller right in the eyes.

Renjun’s cheeks flare as he looks at the younger, “A-are you sure?”

“I’m sure. I’m so sure that I want to spend my life with you and raise Chenle together. Unless, you’re having doubts?” He says as he kisses his lips and presses his forehead against his.

Renjun smiles at him and nuzzles their noses, even with red puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks, Jeno thinks he’s the most beautiful person on earth, “I would love that, Lee Jeno.”

Jeno gives him the brightest smile and swoops down to give him a kiss. He presses him down onto the mattress as he continues to press kiss after kiss. He pulls back and pecks Renjun on every part of his face, the crown of his head, his eyebrows, his eyelids, his nose, cheeks, corner of his lips and the lips itself. He hears Renjun giggle and it fills his heart with so much joy. Jeno couldn’t get any happier than this.

  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


**Epilogue**

The crowd chants a loud happy birthday as the young boy in the middle awaits for the song to finish. He starts bouncing on the balls of his feet, waiting and waiting. As soon as he hears his name being called he quickly blows the candle on the cake as cheers erupt around him. The boy quickly looks at his left to stare at his father waiting for an approval to grab some cake. His tall father raises his eyebrow at him in question, “Why are you looking at me? Ask your papa.”

The boy now turns to his left and utters a soft _‘papa’_ in which his papa returns with a smile seeing how he’s trying to act cute to get his way. He grabs his son’s cheeks and blows raspberries on them..

“Of course you can have cake, Lele. It’s your birthday,” his papa replies. He removes the number ‘5’ candle sitting in the middle of the cake and grabs the knife as he starts cutting the cake. He takes out a slice and places it on the paper plate the child was holding. He places some on the other plates and hands them around to the other guests to enjoy. The young boy starts hurrying off to the table where his friends were to enjoy his cake.

The young boy’s father wraps his hands around his lover’s waist as he places his chin on top of the other’s head, “Gosh, you’re such the perfect father.”

He flicks the other’s forehead leaning back to his husband’s touch, “You’re not too bad yourself, Lee Jeno.” Jeno hears the boy in arms giggle as soon as he sees him pout. 

“Renjun why are you like this to me?” he says trying to sound upset which does not convince his lover at all. But Renjun indulges him, giving him a soft peck square on his lips.

“It’s adorable when you try all cute, I see where Chenle takes after from.”

“He takes after both of us,” Jeno places his head on the smaller’s shoulder to look over the party before them, “He has your wit and instincts, he has my confidence and looks.”

Renjun hums, “Looks possible, confidence? You should think about that again.”

“ _Honey,_ ” Jeno whines as Renjun starts to laugh at him again. From a distance they could hear Chenle shouting for his fathers. He tugs on his papa’s leg asking to be carried. Renjun unwraps Jeno’s arms around him to bend back and lift Chenle up into his arms.

“Did you like the cake, Lele?” Jeno asks as he wipes the sweat on his forehead with the towelette that’s tucked at his back. 

The child nods as he presses a sweet kiss on Renjun’s check and next on to Jeno’s, “Appa makes the best cakes!”

Jeno smiles and thanks Chenle for the sweet complement. He nuzzles his nose on the toddler’s check, his heart feeling full when he hears the giggles his child lets out.

“ _Ugh_ , this is too domestic. Please stop immediately.”

“Hush, Hyuckie. You’re ruining their moment.”

“He already just did,” Jeno mumbles, giving his best friend the death stare as Mark says an apology for them both.

“Good, now pose. I need something to post on my fleet today,” The tan boy says as he pushes them three to the center where the decoration hangs.

They follow his instructions and start to get ready for the pictures. Jeno wraps his left arm around Renjun as the other male holds Chenle in his arms, leaning towards Jeno. A memory momentarily flashes back in Jeno’s mind. A rainy day after a hard working day at the bakery, Jeno being greeted by the two persons he loves the most, his hand wraps around a small waist as the other holds the sweetest child to bear the earth. It’s all too familiar to Jeno. A familiarity he seeks comfort to all the time.

Donghyuck starts to count down for the pictures as Jeno smiles wide towards the camera, eyes turning into crescents. When Donghyuck is on the 2nd count, he suddenly feels his hand being maneuvered from his lover’s waist to the top of his left hand. Jeno feels the cold metal ring that’s placed on Renjun’s ring finger, one that’s similar to his own. A ring that indicates their everlasting promise to one another. His smile widdens. 

This is the life Jeno always wanted to live in. And it's a life he’ll spend eternity enjoying.


End file.
